Category: RelateWell™

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I Do, I Did, I’m Done: Divorced at Last, Finally Free

The journey of marriage is often painted with the hues of eternal love, shared dreams, and growing old together. But what happens when the colors fade, the dreams shatter, and the shared path diverges? What happens when the words “I do” transform into “I did,” and finally, “I’m done”? This is a narrative of liberation, of finding freedom in the finality of a divorce.

The institution of marriage is a beautiful commitment, a promise of love, respect, and companionship. But sometimes, despite the best intentions, the most profound love, and the sincerest efforts, marriages fail. It’s a harsh reality many of us face, and it’s a journey I recently completed.

The decision to end a marriage is never easy. It’s a labyrinth of emotions, a whirlwind of questions, and a rollercoaster of uncertainties. It’s a battle between the heart and the mind, between holding on and letting go. But amidst the chaos, there’s a beacon of hope, a promise of a new beginning, a chance to reclaim your individuality.

The day I signed the divorce papers, I felt a strange mix of emotions. There was a sense of loss, a tinge of guilt, and a wave of fear. But amidst these feelings, there was also a sense of relief, a breath of freedom, a hint of anticipation for what lay ahead. I was finally free.

Freedom after divorce is not about escaping responsibilities or shirking commitments. It’s about rediscovering yourself, reclaiming your identity, and redefining your life on your terms. It’s about breaking free from the shackles of a relationship that no longer serves you and stepping into a world of possibilities.

In the aftermath of my divorce, I found a strength I never knew I had. I discovered facets of my personality that were overshadowed by the compromises of my marriage. I found a new rhythm in life, a new melody in solitude, and a new harmony in independence.

Divorce is not a failure; it’s a testament to courage. It’s the courage to accept that some things are not meant to be. It’s the courage to let go of a relationship that no longer brings joy. It’s the courage to choose your happiness over societal norms. It’s the courage to say, “I did,” to acknowledge, “I’m done,” and to embrace the freedom that follows.

Today, as I stand on the other side of divorce, I feel a sense of liberation. I feel a sense of peace. I feel a sense of excitement for the journey ahead. I am not a victim of a broken marriage; I am a survivor. I am not defined by my past; I am excited about my future. I am not bound by societal expectations; I am free to chart my own course.

“I do, I did, I’m done.” These words are not a symbol of defeat; they are a badge of courage, a testament to resilience, a proclamation of freedom. They are the words that mark the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one. They are the words that echo the sentiments of countless individuals who have walked the path of divorce and found freedom in its finality.

So, here’s to new beginnings, to the journey ahead, to the freedom that comes with saying, “I’m done.” Here’s to living life on our terms, to finding joy in solitude, and to discovering strength in adversity. Here’s to divorce, not as an end, but as a new beginning. Here’s to being finally free.

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The Pillars of Wholeness: Dr Zam’s Living® Approach to a Harmonized Life

In an era where well-being is often segmented, Dr Zam’s Living® emerges as a beacon of integrated health, uniting the physical, mental, and spiritual into one harmonious whole. This guide explores the Science-based Living framework, reflecting the principles of Dr Zam’s Living®, which espouses a life of balance, vitality, and holistic fulfillment.

Body – The Vessel of Vitality

Our bodies are the temples within which we live our lives, and Dr Zam’s Living® aligns with this philosophy through a commitment to scientific evidence and healthful practices. The program’s nutritional guidance is not about dieting; it’s about creating a sustainable, healthy relationship with food. Exercise regimes aren’t fleeting trends but personalized routines crafted for longevity and vitality. Rest is not an afterthought but a central component of health, championing rejuvenating practices that restore the body and enable it to thrive.

Mind – The Seat of Consciousness

Dr Zam’s Living® approaches mental well-being with the acuity it deserves. In the framework, cognitive health and emotional stability are not just goals but journeys of continuous growth and understanding. Through bespoke programs that incorporate cutting-edge psychological research, individuals are empowered to cultivate a resilient mindset, manage stress effectively, and build emotional intelligence that underpins a joyful and productive life.

Soul – The Core of Existence

The soul, often neglected in modern wellness discourse, is given its rightful place at the heart of Dr Zam’s Living®’s ethos. Here, spiritual well-being transcends religious confines, embracing a universal quest for meaning and inner peace. The framework encourages reflective practices, such as meditation and mindfulness, fostering a deep, intrinsic connection to one’s core values and the world at large.

Self – The Integrative Self

The ‘Self’ is the nucleus of the Science-based Living framework, representing the conscious entity that synthesizes body, mind, and soul into one’s identity. Dr Zam’s Living® provides tools and teachings to nurture a robust self-awareness, guiding individuals towards self-actualization and the ability to live authentically and fully.

Sustenance of Needs – The Environmental, Social, and Professional Harmony

Dr Zam’s Living® recognizes that our needs extend beyond our individual selves. The framework encompasses the environmental, social, and now notably, the professional aspects of our lives. By embracing professional development as a vital need, Dr Zam’s Living® supports individuals in achieving their career aspirations, understanding that professional fulfillment contributes significantly to overall well-being.

Dr Zam’s Living® calls upon us to transcend traditional wellness methods by adopting a holistic framework that honors the intrinsic connection between the body, mind, and soul. This article has laid out how each component of Dr Zam’s framework is essential for a harmonious and fulfilling existence.

Begin your journey with Dr Zam’s Living®. Engage with our diverse programs tailored to guide you towards a life that not only balances but celebrates every facet of your being. Take the first step towards a unified and enriched life today.

Science-based Living for Body, Mind and Soul by Dr Zam

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Unveiling the Secrets of Youth: Anti-Ageing Tips Backed by Scientific Evidence

Brought to You by Dr Zam’s Institute of Holistic Living

Ageing gracefully is an art, backed by the science of well-being. At Dr Zam’s Institute of Holistic Living, we delve into the realm of holistic health, offering you anti-ageing secrets grounded in scientific evidence. Journey with us as we explore eight proven strategies to promote longevity and vitality.

1. Nourish Your Body with Antioxidants

Antioxidants are your cellular defenders, safeguarding your body against oxidative stress and free radicals. According to De la Fuente (2002), antioxidants play a pivotal role in enhancing immune system function, crucial for combating age-related deterioration. Embrace a diet rich in vibrant fruits, verdant vegetables, and the indulgent bliss of dark chocolate to fortify your body’s defences (De la Fuente, 2002).

Reference: De la Fuente, M. (2002). Effects of antioxidants on immune system ageing. European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 56(Suppl 3), S5-8. doi: 10.1038/sj.ejcn.1601476.

2. The Miraculous Benefits of Regular Exercise

Physical activity is your fountain of youth, enhancing cardiovascular health, mental acuity, and the body’s intrinsic repair mechanisms. Haskell et al. (2007) underscore the profound benefits of regular exercise, advocating for its integral role in public health and longevity. Stay active, stay young at heart.

Reference: Haskell, W. L., Lee, I. M., Pate, R. R., Powell, K. E., Blair, S. N., Franklin, B. A., … & Bauman, A. (2007). Physical activity and public health: updated recommendation for adults from the American College of Sports Medicine and the American Heart Association. Circulation, 116(9), 1081.

3. Sun Protection: Your Shield Against Premature Aging

Safeguard your skin from the silent ageing accelerator – the sun. Hughes et al. (2013) highlight the efficacy of sunscreen in protecting against photoaging, advocating its use as a proactive shield for preserving your skin’s timeless radiance. Embrace SPF 30+ for a protective embrace against the sun’s relentless rays.

Reference: Hughes, M. C., Williams, G. M., Baker, P., & Green, A. C. (2013). Sunscreen and prevention of skin ageing: a randomized trial. Annals of Internal Medicine, 158(11), 781-790.

4. The Revitalizing Power of Adequate Sleep

Embrace the restorative embrace of sleep, where your body embarks on its nightly journey of repair and rejuvenation. Foley et al. (1995) emphasize that addressing sleep disorders and ensuring quality rest are paramount for stalling the ageing clock and enhancing life’s longevity.

Reference: Foley, D. J., Monjan, A. A., Brown, S. L., Simonsick, E. M., Wallace, R. B., & Blazer, D. G. (1995). Sleep and ageing: 1. Sleep disorders commonly found in older people. Journals of Gerontology Series A: Biological Sciences and Medical Sciences, 50(3), M142-M156.

5. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

In the tranquillity of mindfulness lies the secret to a youthful essence. Davidson et al. (2003) reveal that mindfulness meditation profoundly impacts brain and immune functions, offering a sanctuary of peace and cognitive vitality amidst life’s tempests.

Reference: Davidson, R. J., Kabat‐Zinn, J., Schumacher, J., Rosenkranz, M., Muller, D., Santorelli, S. F., … & Sheridan, J. F. (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(4), 564-570.

6. Hydration: The Essence of Youthful Skin

Let the purity of water be your skin’s closest ally. Palma et al. (2015) elucidate that optimal hydration transcends mere thirst, imparting elasticity, resilience, and a dewy glow to your skin, the canvas of your life’s experiences.

Reference: Palma, L., Marques, L. T., Bujan, J., & Rodrigues, L. M. (2015). Dietary water affects human skin hydration and biomechanics. Clinical, Cosmetic and Investigational Dermatology, 8, 413.

7. A Balanced Diet: Your Foundation for Longevity

Embark on a culinary odyssey that nourishes the soul and fortifies the body. Valls-Pedret et al. (2015) champion the Mediterranean diet as a bastion of cognitive preservation and a testament to the age-defying power of balanced nutrition.

Reference: Valls-Pedret, C., Sala-Vila, A., Serra-Mir, M., Corella, D., de la Torre, R., Martínez-González, M. Á., … & Ros, E. (2015). Mediterranean diet and age-related cognitive decline: a randomized clinical trial. JAMA Internal Medicine, 175(7), 1094-1103.

8. Foster Social Connections

In the tapestry of life, our social bonds are threads of vitality. Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010) illuminate the profound correlation between robust social ties and mortality, underscoring the life-extending and enriching influence of heartfelt connections.

Reference: Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.

At Dr Zam’s Institute of Holistic Living, we understand that ageing is not merely a chronological phenomenon but a tapestry woven with the choices we make each day. Embrace these scientifically backed strategies, and let every new dawn greet a more vibrant, vivacious you. Remember, it’s about enriching your years with life, not just life with years.

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The Blueprint to Achieving Any Goal: Insights from the World’s Peak Performers

In the pursuit of success, setting goals is the easy part. Achieving them, however, is a journey that demands dedication, strategy, and a deep understanding of peak performance principles. After extensive research and analysis of the world’s most successful individuals, it’s evident that achieving any goal is not just about hard work; it’s about working smart, with intention and precision. This article offers you a distilled blueprint of strategies and insights gleaned from peak performers across various domains.

1. Clarity is King

Successful people don’t just set goals; they define them with utmost clarity. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Instead of saying, “I want to be successful,” define what success looks like for you. Is it starting your own company, publishing a book, or becoming a thought leader in your field?

2. The Power of Micro-Goals

Break your main goal into smaller, manageable tasks. Micro-goals make the process less daunting and provide a clear roadmap. Celebrate each small victory, as this will build your confidence and create positive reinforcement.

3. Embrace the Growth Mindset

Peak performers view challenges as opportunities to grow. They believe that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Embrace this growth mindset, and understand that every setback is a step forward in your learning curve.

4. Consistency Over Intensity

While occasional bursts of effort are important, it’s the small, consistent actions that lead to significant results over time. Whether it’s writing a page a day or practicing a new language for 30 minutes daily, consistency will get you closer to your goal than sporadic bouts of hard work.

5. Optimize Your Environment

Your environment can significantly influence your productivity. Create a space that minimizes distractions and maximizes focus. Surround yourself with individuals who inspire you and push you to be better.

6. Leverage the Power of Habits

Habits are the building blocks of success. Develop habits that align with your goals. If your goal is to write a novel, make writing a daily habit. If it’s to run a marathon, habitual training is your key to success.

7. Stay Adaptive and Agile

Flexibility is a hallmark of peak performers. They adapt their strategies based on feedback and changing circumstances. If a particular approach isn’t working, they pivot and try new methods until they find what works.

8. Nurture Your Well-being

Physical and mental well-being are the foundations upon which peak performance is built. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices like meditation can significantly enhance your productivity and focus.

9. The Power of Visualization

Visualizing your success can be a powerful motivator. It primes your brain to recognize the resources you will need and helps you stay motivated. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself achieving your goal and the emotions associated with that success.

10. Reflect, Reassess, and Realign

Regular reflection on your progress is crucial. Assess what’s working and what’s not. Be honest with yourself and make necessary adjustments. Remember, the path to any goal is not linear. Be patient and persistent.

Achieving any goal is a testament to one’s discipline, strategy, and mindset. By incorporating these insights from the world’s peak performers into your strategy, you’re not just pursuing a goal; you’re on a path to mastering the art of achievement. Embrace the journey, for every step forward is a step towards realizing your potential and turning your visions into reality.

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Navigating New Horizons: Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Divorce, though an end to a chapter, is also the beginning of rediscovering and reinventing yourself. It’s a path of healing, growth, and transformation. Here’s a comprehensive guide to navigating this new phase of your life with resilience and hope.

1. Embrace the Grieving Process

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. It’s normal to experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them define your future. Remember, grieving is not a sign of weakness but a step towards healing.

2. Seek Professional Support

Consider therapy or counselling. A professional can offer you the tools to process your emotions healthily and provide an objective perspective. Support groups can also be invaluable, offering solace and understanding from those who are on a similar journey.

3. Rediscover Yourself

Post-divorce life is an opportunity to rediscover who you are outside the context of your previous relationship. Explore old and new interests. Whether revisiting an old hobby or discovering a new passion, these activities can be incredibly healing and empowering.

4. Forge a New Financial Path

Divorce can significantly alter your financial landscape. It’s crucial to reassess your financial situation. Create a new budget, understand your assets and liabilities, and if necessary, seek advice from a financial advisor. Empower yourself through financial literacy and independence.

5. Rebuild Your Social Life

Your social dynamics may change post-divorce. While some friendships may no longer serve you, new relationships await. Be open to meeting new people and forging connections that align with your current values and lifestyle.

6. Co-Parenting with Grace

If children are involved, focus on their well-being. A positive co-parenting relationship, based on mutual respect and clear communication, can provide your children with the stability and love they need during this transition.

7. Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Your mindset can be your most powerful ally or your greatest enemy. Cultivate positivity through affirmations, mindfulness, and self-compassion. Remember, your thoughts can shape your reality, so nurture a mindset that fosters growth and resilience.

8. Plan Your Future

Start setting goals for your future. They can be as small as reading a book a month or as big as changing your career. These goals give you direction and a sense of purpose, helping to propel you forward.

9. Embrace Your New Normal

Accept that your life will be different, and that’s okay. Embrace your new normal with an open heart and an open mind. Every day is a new opportunity to create a life that’s authentically yours.

Rebuilding your life after a divorce is not just about recovery but reinvention. It’s an opportunity to build a life that resonates with who you are and who you aspire to be. As you embark on this journey, remember, that you’re not just surviving; you’re thriving. With each step, you’re not just moving on; you’re moving up. Welcome to your new beginning.

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“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie – Dr Zam’s Summary

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide that offers valuable insights into human interactions and behaviors, which are essential for personal and professional success. Here's a comprehensive summary of the key lessons and actionable insights from this classic:

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide that offers valuable insights into human interactions and behaviors, which are essential for personal and professional success. Here’s a comprehensive summary of the key lessons and actionable insights from this classic:

The Fundamental Techniques in Handling People: Carnegie emphasizes the importance of understanding others’ perspectives, appreciating their efforts and achievements, and aligning our requests or proposals with their interests. To put these into action, we should strive to show genuine interest in others, appreciate them sincerely, and arouse an eager want.

Ways to Make People Like You: Carnegie suggests six principles to win people over, including becoming genuinely interested in other people, being a good listener, and making the other person feel important. To apply these principles, we can start conversations on topics the other person is interested in, listen attentively to what they say, and acknowledge their importance in our life or work.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking: Carnegie provides several strategies for persuading others, such as showing respect for the other person’s opinions, admitting when you’re wrong, and letting the other person feel that the idea is theirs. These can be implemented by creating a safe space for open discussion, being humble to accept our mistakes, and subtly guiding others to discover our ideas on their own.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment: Carnegie advises leaders to begin with praise and honest appreciation, call out mistakes indirectly, and make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. As leaders, we can start by acknowledging the strengths of our team members, provide constructive feedback in a considerate manner, and create a positive and motivating environment that encourages people to follow our guidance.

The essence of Carnegie’s teachings is about fostering genuine and positive human relationships. It’s not about manipulating people, but about learning to communicate, interact, and lead with empathy, respect, and sincerity. As we apply these principles, we should always uphold the values of authenticity and respect for others’ dignity. This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve their interpersonal skills and achieve success in their personal and professional life.

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“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey – Dr Zam’s Summary

“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey - Dr Zam's Summary

“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey is a seminal work that has influenced millions of readers worldwide. It presents a holistic, principle-centered approach for solving personal and professional problems. This comprehensive guide offers a balanced program for living with fairness, integrity, honesty, and human dignity.

Personal Mastery: Understanding and Managing Self

1. Be Proactive (Personal Responsibility)

Being proactive means taking control of our own actions and behaviors. Covey emphasizes the power of choice and our ability to respond to any given set of circumstances. By focusing on our Circle of Influence, we can act based on values rather than reacting to emotions or external conditions.

2. Begin with the End in Mind (Vision)

This habit encourages us to define clear personal and professional goals. By visualizing our ideal future and creating a personal mission statement, we can align our daily actions and decisions with our long-term objectives. It’s about living life by design, not by default.

3. Put First Things First (Prioritization)

Covey introduces the Time Management Matrix to help readers focus on what’s truly important. By prioritizing tasks that align with our values and long-term goals, we can manage our time effectively and avoid being trapped in urgent but unimportant activities.

Interpersonal Mastery: Building Strong Relationships

4. Think Win-Win (Mutual Benefit)

This habit promotes a mindset of seeking mutually beneficial solutions in interpersonal interactions. It’s about creating a win-win culture where both parties can achieve their goals. Covey explains that win-win is not a technique but a total philosophy of human interaction.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (Empathetic Communication)

Covey emphasizes the importance of empathetic listening. By seeking to understand others deeply before expressing our own viewpoint, we can create a level of communication that leads to win-win solutions. This habit is about building genuine relationships and trust.

6. Synergize (Collaborative Teamwork)

Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. By working collaboratively and valuing the differences in others, we can achieve more creative and valuable solutions. Covey illustrates how high-trust teams can reach innovative outcomes through synergy.

Continuous Growth: Nurturing Body, Mind, and Soul

7. Sharpen the Saw (Continuous Improvement)

This habit is about continuous growth and self-renewal in the physical, mental, social, and spiritual dimensions. Covey encourages readers to invest time in renewing themselves regularly. It’s about maintaining balance and constantly improving oneself.

Conclusion: The Timeless Wisdom of the 7 Habits

Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is more than just a book; it’s a tool for personal and professional transformation. Its timeless wisdom can be applied to various aspects of life, from business leadership to personal development.

The 7 habits provide a roadmap for living a fulfilling and effective life. They guide us in our relationships, help us navigate the challenges of work and personal life, and inspire us to lead with empathy, integrity, and wisdom.

As someone who believes in science-based living for body, mind, and soul, this book resonates with the principles I advocate. It’s a must-read for anyone seeking a holistic approach to success and well-being.

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The Power of Influence: Unveiling the Art of Persuasion with Evidence-Based Strategies

Introduction:
The ability to persuade and influence others is crucial in various aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional success. “Influence, New and Expanded” by Robert B. Cialdini, PhD, presents a comprehensive exploration of the principles and psychology behind effective persuasion. Backed by 35 years of evidence-based research, this book offers readers valuable insights into the art of ethical influence and provides practical strategies for achieving desired outcomes.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition

The Universal Principles of Influence:
Cialdini’s book delves into the Universal Principles of Influence, which include reciprocity, commitment and consistency, social proof, liking, authority, scarcity, and the newest addition, unity. These principles are based on extensive research and provide a framework for understanding why people say “yes” and how to apply these insights ethically.

One of the fundamental principles discussed is reciprocity. Cialdini showcases how this principle plays a significant role in influencing behavior. By giving first, individuals trigger a sense of obligation in others, leading them to reciprocate the favor. Understanding reciprocity enables individuals to build mutually beneficial relationships and motivate others to take action.

Commitment and consistency are explored as effective tools for persuasion. Cialdini highlights how individuals have a natural desire to align their behaviors with their established commitments. By presenting a small initial request, individuals can guide others towards larger actions, leveraging their innate desire for consistency.

The book also explores the impact of social proof in influencing behavior. Through vivid examples and research-backed evidence, Cialdini illustrates how individuals tend to conform to the actions or beliefs of others, particularly in uncertain situations. This principle emphasizes the importance of utilizing testimonials, reviews, or endorsements to influence others positively.

Cialdini’s book delves into the power of liking and the role it plays in persuasion. Through relatable stories and scientific research, readers gain insight into how establishing positive connections and building rapport enhances persuasive efforts. By understanding the factors that contribute to likeability, individuals can skillfully navigate social interactions and increase their persuasive influence.

The concept of authority is another vital principle discussed in the book. Cialdini reveals how individuals naturally defer to authority figures and explores ways to establish credibility and expertise. This principle emphasizes the importance of building trust and leveraging one’s expertise to gain influence in various settings.

The principle of scarcity explores how people are motivated by the fear of missing out. Cialdini demonstrates how creating a sense of limited availability can significantly impact behavior and decision-making. By invoking scarcity, individuals can create a sense of urgency and motivate others to act promptly.

The newest addition to the Universal Principles of Influence, unity, highlights the significance of shared identity and commonality. Cialdini showcases how emphasizing similarities and a sense of belonging can foster cooperation and influence behavior effectively.

Application and Ethical Considerations:
While “Influence” provides readers with proven strategies to become better persuaders, the book also emphasizes the ethical responsibility associated with influence. Cialdini emphasizes the importance of defending oneself against unethical influence attempts and offers guidance on recognizing and resisting manipulative tactics. Through ethical application of the principles, individuals can maximize their persuasive impact without compromising integrity.

Conclusion:
“Influence, New and Expanded” is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand and enhance their ability to influence others ethically. By exploring the Universal Principles of Influence and providing real-life examples, Cialdini empowers readers to apply evidence-based strategies for effectively persuading others. This research-backed book not only provides practical insights but also equips individuals to defend against unethical influence attempts. By embracing the art of persuasion with ethics at the forefront, readers can achieve their goals while maintaining trust and integrity.

Listen to this article on The Knowledge Pod™ | Dr Zam’s Academy®